Well here we are... on the edge of a brand new year once again. The possibilities of a clean slate—a do-over of sorts—gleam with the grand promises of hope and rebirth. It is a wonderful gift to be able to feel this type of optimism on the last day of the year. And while some souls might be eager to close the door on a tough year, others might be ready to continue on with projects and growth currently in progress, simply expanding on already wonderful things.
Personally, I feel both of these sentiments.
To be frank, 2017 was a bit of a shit show for me. The year brought to my life an abundance of the following (in this order): pain, darkness, self-doubt, self-evaluation of the most relentless and brutally honest kind, loneliness, hopelessness, hopefulness, and then finally the dawn of a big new beautiful venture. Early in the year I found myself in the deepest of confusions, knowing something had shifted, knowing I was different than before, searching for answers, and finding some of those answers in difficult places. I hurt someone I love deeply in the process. I had to take stock of everything I believed in, everything I valued, and everything I thought to be of importance. I lost myself for a while. I drifted through days, feeling like an apparition, wondering about my own sanity. I had to get honest with myself and those around me and admit my own weaknesses and failures (something I'm not naturally very good at). I grew accustomed to unease. I danced in the blackness of my own shadow—a lot. I still do some days.
But here's the thing. With failure and pain come opportunities. For me, those opportunities included a chance to get to know myself on a deeper and more honest level. I found my self-worth, damaged as it was. I finally, after 46 years, heard my own inner voice. And when I began listening to that voice (and only that voice), it became louder, and louder - and then clearer. Finally, that voice led me through my own turmoil and directly to the space where tribe yoga now lives. -- And I am now counting on that same voice to carry me into the new year with authenticity, fearlessness, and unconditional love.
Yes, I'm looking forward to a new year—absolutely I am. 2018 promises another chance to live an authentic life, guided only by the beat of my own heart. It offers a full 12 months of time to build something I believe in with every bit of my soul. I know there is beauty and love in my future - in all of our futures. And so it is with forgiveness, compassion, and gratitude that I release the events, pain, discomfort, and disappointment of 2017. All involved lessons that I needed to learn - catalysts for moving forward with a greater understanding and respect for the process of growth and the value of love.
So cheers to new beginnings. Cheers to growing into our best selves and living our best lives. Cheers to authenticity and love. Cheers to 2018. Cheers to all of you. XO